Were You Looking at ME?

By Kelly Roberts,
Children’s Author

(This is a trigger warning. For some, this account may be overwhelming or disturbing.)

My hands were already shaking and quaking as I opened my purse. I set my drink beside the cash register, and it sloshed out of the cup.Everywhere.

I had just schlepped across the parking lot to pick up a soda after pumping gas. I used the counter for support, willing it to slow down the shaky quakies that were beginning to wobble all over my body. My trembling fingers tried to stuff bills into my wallet and the change still in my hand clattered onto the counter. The clerk, leaning away with eyes wide, said, “Are you okay? Should I call someone?” I looked down at my quivering hands and muttered, “I’m fine” under my breath as my face turned red.

He looked relieved, shrugged, and pushed my drink to the side and motioned to the next person. You. Could you feel the waves of frustration I was generating? You have been standing behind me and I know what you were thinking, What’s wrong with her? What’s taking so long? You shifted your weight and shuffled the items in your arms. You gave me a glance out of the corner of your eye and warily stepped away, closer to the cash register, far from me. As if essential tremor (ET) or Parkinson’s disease could be caught like a common cold. It was reinforced with a second sideways glance. Then you stared.

When this incident happened, I was ashamed and embarrassed to inconvenience anyone or to cause discomfort because of my disability. I would use humor and education now to open closed minds and unfriendly hearts. Mostly, I’ve come to realize my disability is really a unique ability that is a part of who I am. I cannot separate myself from it, but it does not make up my whole person. I am NOT my disability. Instead, it is an opportunity to share similarities, commonalities and how truly alike we all are no matter what we look like on the outside. Help open the conversation of diversity and inclusion. No, not just inclusion but acceptance despite the differences in how we may look, act or be perceived.

Everyone deserves to be accepted for who they are, as they are. And my mission now is to lobby for that acceptance at every opportunity and write books for children and even more importantly, that child that lives inside each one of us yearning to be a part of the life around them with kindness and empathy.

Join me and spread the news that we are just like everyone else, struggling to get through the day. But then isn’t everyone struggling with something? Ours just happens to be visible and inconvenient to those we meet day to day.

The more we talk about disabilities the more we can change preconceived notions of what it means to struggle visibly, and ultimately change our communities for the better! First, use every opportunity to educate those around you. Second, be kind to others and third, and most importantly, don’t be embarrassed by your struggles. YOU ARE UNIQUE AND VALUABLE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

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Kelly D. Roberts, is a children’s author whose debut picture book, SHAKY QUAKY JAKE, is a heart-warming story about a child with essential tremor from Global Bookshelves International. In addition to her passion for books, music, and all things Christmas, she believes every child needs to be accepted for who they are, as they are, and writes stories for that child which lives in all of us yearning to be included.  https://kellydroberts.com/