How Has Having Essential Tremor Affected My Life? (Scholarship Essay)
As a high school junior, I learned I would never be a sniper in the military, a surgeon, or a dentist. My blurry selfies may never improve, cutting caffeine could not magically steady my hand, and the laser on my rangefinder may never lock on the pin. A movement disorder that masquerades as an affliction of aging, essential tremor (ET) suddenly and significantly changed my life. My hands shake at a high frequency and small amplitude, and I am told that someday my tremor may become more pronounced or present in my legs or voice.
When first diagnosed with ET, I felt unmoored. For many years, I strove to play golf in college and, if luck allowed, professionally. On my journey, I cleaned a pro shop for course privileges and spent early weekend mornings setting up the grounds for golf workshops in exchange for extra coaching time. During summers, I competed in local junior tournaments in the brutal Arizona heat. The ET diagnosis came as I started talking with college coaches and within months of winning my first national event. I am grateful I was able to play golf at Amherst College despite my disability.
Although disruptive, ET prompted positive personal growth. Because it is a somewhat hidden physical disability, others often falsely assumed my struggles arose from nervousness, and I feared sharing my diagnosis, concerned that teammates and coaches might consider my condition a liability. Eventually, I realized that honesty and forthrightness was the best way to move forward. As I revealed my diagnosis and shared the funny and frustrating ways that tremors creep into my daily activities, most people responded with kindness, and many shared their own vulnerabilities with me.
Working through my diagnosis also gave me perspective that helped me take on leadership roles and develop counseling skills. As captain of two high school varsity teams and later a two-year captain for Amherst’s golf team, I acted as a motivational speaker, logistics coordinator, advocate, mentor, and grief counselor. In those roles and other campus positions, my experience living with ET prompted me to be a more caring, intelligent, sensitive, inquisitive, and empathetic listener and participant.
Of particular importance to me as I embark on my legal career, the sudden onset of my ET heightened my awareness of the difficulties and discrimination faced by people living with disabilities. This spurred me to build awareness in my high school and college communities through dialogue with peers, presentations to faculty, updates to my personal website, and involvement with our DEI committee.
After law school, I plan to support better representation in the field of law, assist with efforts to enact legislation aimed at accessibility, and provide legal support to organizations and nonprofits focused on issues unique to the disabled community.
I wish that I had steady hands, but I am also grateful that ET changed me for the better. In the years since my diagnosis, I have grown in ways that will benefit me throughout my life and law career.
***********
If you want to be involved in supporting students with essential tremor as they work toward their higher education goals, consider making a donation to the Catherine Rice Scholarship Fund. The IETF awards up to 10 college scholarships each year to students with essential tremor.