How Has Having Essential Tremor Affected My Life? (Scholarship Essay)
Having essential tremors from a young age was always a challenge. Having to explain it to new people, finding better ways to write with a pencil, managing stress so it wouldn’t come out at the worst moments. Even so, living in a small town, the support I received was beyond what I could have wished for. Yet, someday that would end, and I would have to go off into a bigger world. This year, I journeyed off into that wider world, with my first year of college, experiencing new friendships, new ideas, and just as many new challenges. I will always remember the first week, where, as an electrical engineering major, I was desperate for more experience and joined the first engineering club that I could find. I was excited to find new ways in which electronics are created and designed, yet some of these ways directly opposed my condition.
During that first meeting, I was taught how to solder, which is essentially using a burning hot iron tip to metallically bond wires or components together; Yes, not a great mix with a condition that causes you to shake all the time. Seeing it as a great challenge to overcome, I pressed forward, attempting to grip the solder iron, while applying the solder or the “glue” to the wires. As one would expect, the wires disconnected, the solder would melt without connecting the wires, with each mishap creating more and more frustration. The upperclassmen looking over me, watched awkwardly in silence, as though afraid to say anything, as I struggled to even touch the iron to the wire. I was suddenly struck with a feeling that I hadn’t had for a long time: embarrassment for who I was. It felt as though suddenly the entire world was watching, each moment causing my hands to tremble from the helplessness. I managed to connect the wires with the solder, but it was ugly work at best. That day taught me an important lesson, no matter what I did, essential tremor would always be with me. I was comfortable in the environment that I had grown up in, but the world was a much vaster and different place. Yet, though essential tremor would always be with me, it didn’t mean that I couldn’t do anything about it.
Given my stubbornness for the rest of the year, I devoted myself to learning how to solder like an expert. I slowly watched my hands become more grounded along with my confidence as I tried different techniques and grips. I was able to put my engineering mindset to use, designing hand mounts to further stabilize my hands, turning an activity that I once feared, into one that I actively pursue and enjoy. Essential tremor will always be with me, but because of it, I have learned an important life lesson, that of turning insurmountable mountains into a simple journey, one with many ridges and obstacles, but that can be overcome with grit and determination.
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If you want to be involved in supporting students with essential tremor as they work toward their higher education goals, consider making a donation to the Catherine Rice Scholarship Fund. The IETF awards up to 10 college scholarships each year to students with essential tremor.