How Has Having Essential Tremor Affected My Life? (Scholarship Essay)
On December 11, 2025, I turned 19 years old. Nineteen isn’t really an exciting milestone birthday. I already had a driver’s license, and I am old enough to vote and buy a lottery ticket. Instead, 19 is the year I officially graduated from pediatric neurological care to a movement disorder specialist. I went straight from pediatrics to a center on aging. I felt like I had aged 50 years in a matter of months. It was at this winter appointment at the center on aging where I felt, for the first time, the rarity of my young adult essential tremor (ET) diagnosis. I was surrounded by older patients waiting to be seen. Many were using walkers or wheelchairs. I did not see one other patient in my age group. I was initially diagnosed at the age of six, which means I can’t remember my hands without a tremor. But at this appointment I realized, as all the medical professionals continued to mistake my father for the patient, living life as a young person with ET is a unique, life-altering prognosis.
In the 13 years since that first appointment, essential tremor has guided many parts of my life. From completing daily tasks to deciding long-term career goals, essential tremor has been a defining factor. As a student attending Kansas State University and pursuing a degree in civil engineering with a focus on structural analysis, I have learned to manage challenges that necessitate precision, patience, and confidence.
The most noticeable effects of essential tremor are on everyday tasks which require fine motor skills. This includes assignments such as handwritten notes or detailed technical drawings. These assignments require more patience and concentration from me than from another student. In a field like structural engineering, where accuracy as well as precision matter, I have had to tackle problems with different methods. I have had to find alternative approaches to drawing assignments rather than letting my essential tremor decide my goals. My professional path has also been influenced by my essential tremor. I have been preparing for my summer internship at a civil engineering firm and have felt some uncertainty about how my tremors might influence my work in a real-life setting. Structural engineering frequently requires exact calculations and excellent, clear communication, and I wonder how I will perform. However, I remind myself that competence is not perfection in movement, but my cognitive skills, persistence, and attention to detail. These qualities I practice every day.
Socially, my essential tremor has been misunderstood at times. When I was growing up, teachers and classmates thought my essential tremor was nervousness or a sign of unreadiness. This was the most frustrating point at a young age because I am a confident person. Those interactions have taught me strength. Over time, with the support of my friends and family, I have grown more comfortable with explaining my condition and not letting others’ assumptions degrade my performance. This past fall, I pushed myself to apply for a freshman leadership and service organization. I knew the process would be lengthy and include a written application and interview process. My final interview was 90 minutes long with a panel of college seniors and advisors. Instead of worrying about my hand, neck, and voice tremors, I focused on being myself and answering questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. I was accepted into the organization in October.
In the last year, I went from a high school kid who wondered if civil engineering would be the right fit, to a confident, determined person who wants to make an impact using structural analysis. Whether in aviation or in large structures, the biggest challenge I now face is impostor syndrome. I question whether I truly belong in a demanding field where I know my talents will be validated. With time, I have come to see that my essential tremor is not a flaw, but something that has made my experience unique. It has forced me to develop persistence, adaptability, and most importantly, mental toughness. Traits that are significant in engineering and in life.
Not holding me back, essential tremor has pushed me forward. I have been challenged to work harder, think differently, and build confidence in my abilities. Choosing a path many might avoid because of my diagnosis is not a weakness. It is a strength. It proves that I can overcome any challenge and pursue a goal I am passionate about, regardless of the hurdles I face.
***********
If you want to be involved in supporting students with essential tremor as they work toward their higher education goals, consider making a donation to the Catherine Rice Scholarship Fund. The IETF awards up to 10 college scholarships each year to students with essential tremor.