How Has Having Essential Tremor Affected My Life? (Scholarship Essay)

I vividly remember walking out of the doctor’s office the day I was officially diagnosed.

My thoughts swirled in a hundred directions. I’d never even heard of anyone my age with this kind of problem. It made me feel 80. And what did the doctor mean, “no cure”? What was this medication I would have to take? Would it actually help? What about my schoolwork? Would I ever be able to hand-write my essays again? Would I be spilling my lunch on myself in the cafeteria for the rest of my schooling? I felt overwhelmed and nobody, not even my parents, had answers for me.

I am 22 now, looking back on the mind of a shy 15-year-old girl freshly diagnosed with essential tremor. As I’ve grown older I’ve realized two things I wish had been different about my diagnosis journey. First, I wish I’d had more access to help and education about ET. Second, I wish I’d had an opportunity to be involved in a disabled/ET community. I often found myself the first few years doing as much research as I could about ET, but almost always found the same basic repeated information. Additionally, I wanted to know I was not the only one going through it. I had no one to talk to who could understand my issues or offer good advice on how to move forward.

As an adult I have come to harbor a deep passion for educating others about my disability and creating a community for both people like me and people unlike me. This year I started an Instagram account where I’ve taken the time and effort to daily educate anyone who is willing to listen about essential tremor and other disabilities. I want to offer the community and help that I always wished I had: someone young people can look up to and talk to. I offer facts about ET, discuss my own experiences with tremor, and explore various coping strategies. The effect this has had on my life has been tremendous. It has forced me to come face to face with struggles I still have and learn to share them with others. It encourages me to seek honesty and bonding. It has also opened up opportunities to speak more broadly about ET. For example, I recently had the chance to be a guest on a podcast run by two blind ladies. I got to be their first guest with a disability different from their own!

Educating the public has given me the connection and networking I have always desired. I hope to continue educating people about disability on a broader scale, maybe even becoming a speaker. Not only do I continue to learn about myself, but I also get to learn about hundreds of other people and answer their questions and concerns. If I can find purpose in my disability, I find it here in spreading awareness.

Though ET is not always easy, it has given me passion, people, and purpose.

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If you want to be involved in supporting students with essential tremor as they work toward their higher education goals, consider making a donation to the Catherine Rice Scholarship Fund. The IETF awards up to 10 college scholarships each year to students with essential tremor.